20 Days

I often go back to the time
When we sat on the staircase outside late one spring night,
When I threw my bitter resentments at you,
My despondency wrapped in I-hate-you’s.
But you hung on my acidic words,
Promising to make things right.
Do you remember, when we had our last 20 days ahead of us?
Do you remember your heartening words?

I often go back to the time,
Of our inhibited talks.
Your festering fears.
My profound apprehensions.
Our little ice cream walks.
Do you remember those casual saunters?
If only they lasted a little bit longer.

I often go back to the time,
When you took my hand,
And waltzed me around.
When everything else,
Evanesced in the background
A moment which passed before I could savor it.
Do you remember that song
Which suddenly became my favorite?

Oh how it killed me to watch it all fade,
But all I had,
Were those last 20 days.
Until you decided
To drop the masquerade.

-SR

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Life Lately …

Life lately has been pretty much upside down with all the Stranger Things happening around, but I’ve gotten used to it.
Was that a pretty pathetic attempt at being funny while opening a blog post , which has been due for an year? …. Okay I get it… you don’t need to answer that!

I see my last post here and I see 22 year old me trying to be all wise and smart and, 23 year old me , right now, is just cringing so hard. But damn that girl was wiser than me, whatever happened to her.

An year later now, I’m out of college, leading a cliched “big-city-big-job-lonely-life” and feeling terrible exhausted, and bored. Good news , I’ve saved up enough money now to make a pilgrimage to holy land of London and see with my own mortal eyes , the holy world of Harry Potter aka WB Studio in all its glory. Bad news, I can not afford to take any leaves from work. Oh yess!! Saddest situation ever!! Plus, my mum wouldn’t let me go alone so…   (I’m just going to ponder on for a while about which excuse sounds sadder than the other)
Anyway, so I was saying … life here is killing me. I remember during my last few days at college, I was starting to get mixed feelings. Of course I was upset, but there was some part of me which constantly screamed NO ASSIGNMENTS NO EXAMS, and that just got me ‘elated’, every single time. And 3 months after that, I forgot what that word felt like. Life has become a constant cycle of work-eat-sleep-repeat and I’m just spinning with it. And not to sound very sentimental and cry-ey about it, most of the time I just pass it with a ‘K Whatever attitude‘ , except on a few days when I come back a bit late from work and I can smell something good cooking while walking past every damn house/flat in my society and I reach my place, stuff my face with cold bread and butter and cry myself to sleep on those nights.
Actually , no that’s not true, I’m just being over dramatic, but you get my point, right? For twenty two years , I’ve lived surrounded with people, and suddenly there’s so much peace and quiet in my life that I just find hard to digest sometimes. (TBH, being an introvert helps a lot but not always). So, to solve that problem, I signed up on some extra courses, and long story short , it’s just more assignments and work life + student life going hand in hand. I don’t know which one I’m doing part time.

But anyway, it’s not sad all the time. I mean I don’t have to think twice anymore if I want to buy something and I get that feeling of being independent, which I just love waking up to everyday.  I’ve also learned to cook a lot of things. And while, I’m still struggling to be a pro at adulting, one thing I’ve definitely learned is to NOT care about people or silly things a lot. Oh wait, is that me throwing shade at someone/something? Or am I just being dramatic again? Hmm…

So that’s enough about career. Moving on, how can I not mention? BOOKS!!
I haven’t read a lot lately, but ALONE IN BERLIN by HANS FALLADA? Man, that book gave me chills. That’s another addition to my favorite Nazi themed novels. Just a fun fact, this masterpiece was written in 22 days. 22 DAYS!?!?!! I mean you really really have to read it to know how good it is. If you’re into reading, better get your hands on it ASAP! If you’re not, well… you have my sympathy.
I’m also trying to finish Cosmos by Carl Sagan and Made In America by Bill Bryson, since foreverrr, but something about non-fiction, it just takes me soooo long!! Oh and I also finally read Catch-22, and I know I’m so late to the club, BUT WHAT A FIVE STAR BOOK THOUGH! *Tosses it on my pile of favorite books*. There might be around 10 , maybe 12, books more, but I can’t think of anything to specially mention.

I can’t think of anything to add more now.
I would tell you about the time when I cut my feet with glass and just went to sleep leaving it bleeding like that because I’m clumsy and ignorant like that (Ha! Talk about adulting), or maybe that time when I felt so heartbroken for Cassini, a spacecraft’s, self destruction that I ranted about its ‘suicide’ for half an hour over call to my brother because I become an emotional mess sometimes, but those stories are much too random and much too long to accommodate in this post. So much… SO MUCH has happened in this past one year, that I just can’t pick my favorite stories to tell. Should I mention those about my travels, or about my work or all the random batshit crazy experiences I’ve had? *pulls out my 2017 journal, looks at the number of pages, keeps it back*. Maybe some other time guys. I’m just going to end this here.
And I’ll leave you with a song I’m listening to right now…

Have a good night/day, if you’re reading this.

Later,
Srishti

 

Life, Lately 2.0

Okay so here’s the thing… it’s been 3 months since I posted. And I wouldn’t be here today writing this if one of my twitter friends hadn’t acknowledged my close-to-zero blog writing skills. Hey Nanu, are you reading this???  I mean seriously dude, I suck… BIG TIME. But your words were a real push. And hence I’m here. Thanks bud.

Okay so coming back to the post… uhhhmm I have no friggin idea what to write about. So I thought, why not make this post into another ‘Life, lately’ post and rant about my life, as if I don’t do that anyway. But helloooo… mah blog, mah rulezzz !

So these days I’m at home (Yayy good long Diwali vacations) chilling, relaxing, sleeping my days off like a koala… no actually, not literally, because Koala sleeps for 21-22 hours a day (there you have your fun fact of the day, you’re welcome) but seriously speaking, A LOT! Aaaand I’ve been eating a lot, like a pig, and that’s literally because I’m pretty sure I have gained like 4 to 5 kgs in the last 10 days. But then, who cares, right? YOLO!! (Are we still using that? No? I’m so sorry. Can we just forget I ever said that?)

Okay, other than that, the college life has been going really well. Just casually spending hours rolling in mud and lighting up food in our rooms in the wee hours of night and then dying hungry… stuff like that. Just kidding (not really!). But yeah, it’s all fun, thanks to people (read: AWESOME people) around me. And it’s equally exhausting because I’ve been studying my head off (NOT REALLY, but it’s the most I’ve ever done in my life). Remember my last post? Same old, same old. Oh and I did not make it to that committee (like I had any chance anyway).

I realize this post is getting pretty boring now… okay so what elseeee. I think I should stop writing because GODD I’M SO BORING ! What do you see in my posts, Nanu?
And to make up for my lack of creativity, I’ll leave you with a song I just discovered, and by that, I mean, whilst writing this post, literally. (Think I’ve found my next LSS).

Alright then,
Have a good night… good day… whatever! 😀
Later,
Srishti