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Feels like 22!

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I turned 22 on 22nd October this year and I’ve been intending to write a post about it ever since… but oh… my lazy self.
I TURNED 22 ON 22!! ALRIGHT!! I’M ALLOWED TO BE EXCITED ABOUT IT AND I’M ALLOWED TO NOT POST ABOUT IT UNTIL AFTER A WEEK RIGHT??? RIGHT??

(*whispers to self* Sit down Srish, you’re looking stupid! )
Okay I’m sorry. I don’t know what I’m writing. Alright, back to the subject, hmm…

So what’s changed between 21 and 22?
Nothing. And everything.
Every year it’s like “Oh it’s my birthday… I’m officially an year older but do I really feel older?”
“Yes, of course, I feel older and wiser.”
“REALLLYYY??”
“Hell NOOOO!!!” 

This year, the answer is YES! This year it genuinely feels like 22.
I’m wiser than 21. I’m sillier than 23.
I’ve never felt more myself than I’m feeling now. At 22.

Continue reading

Delirium

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Light as a feather, drifting away with the wind,
Or lost in space, floating to the ends of the galaxy,
Or fierce like a dragon, ruling the mountains,
Or swimming in the depths of my own childhood memories
I live in my dreams,
away from the confined realities.
Where I’m free.
Where I’m infinite.

And the nightmares that haunt me,
I’ve accepted as my own,
At least they make me aware of every breath I take,
With those demons I have grown.
They don’t scare me,
half as much as those dreamless slumbers.
Making me oblivious of the world,
Of my own existence,
Taking away everything I’ve ever known,
in an instant.

Yet I know, it’ll swallow me one day,
into its eternal darkness,
which makes me think,
maybe I’m not afraid of loosing myself,
maybe I’m just afraid of waking up.
From this beautiful dream which I so like to call a confined reality.
Maybe this is all I get, to fly and to be free,
to be humane and to be fierce,
to be one thing at a time,
or to be everything at once.

And I’m not ready to let this go,
my dreams, my deliriums
I’m not ready,
to wake up yet.

-SR


I claim no rights on the picture used above.

 

Walking Mundanity

Summer 2016, Sunday morning, 11:00 am, forget about the whole post, I’m still stuck thinking about what my next line would be. Because hey, walking mundanity, that is my life. And I friggin’ love it!

Straight out of the first year of MBA, or what I like to call, the grinding year, that sucked my soul like an ugly dementor. Not that dementors are beautiful, anyway, and definitely not kissable… but you get the point, right? So here I landed in apparently, one-of-the-most-happening-cities of my country, as the children these days call it (What can I say, I’m an old soul), for my internship. And I don’t challenge that title because it is the most happening, if 1. you like trekking (which is not possible in this season unless you wear a fire proximity suit… but that would be really uncomfortable to go trekking in, I reckon) or 2. if you like to drink. A lot. Which is something that doesn’t interest me. But despite that, I’m loving it here SO MUCH!

One, I’m alone. Two, I’M ALONE!
I mean I’ve never been this independent in my entire life. Sure, it gets boring sometimes. And I’ve had my fair share of I-want-to-go-home moments. But then, these are the two months which I’ll never forget. If you’ve still not understood why I’m so happy with my life here, I’ll set a scene for you. Books, loads of food OF MY CHOICE, HELL LOT OF SLEEP, aimlessly roaming around the city, hours of binge watching,  hours of uninterrupted day dreaming, and…the best thing.. there’s no one to question. Oh and internship? Well, it’s all good. Demands me to work only about 12-15 hours a week, that too on a field job in marketing. So much exposure and so much learning in such few hours. I couldn’t ask for more. This is perfect.

So long-story-short, I’m having the time of my life here. Which is soon going to end, in about half a month. And I’m trying to make the most of every single day. Books to finish, places to visit, restaurants to dine in, TV shows to watch and shop , shop, shop , before it’s all over and I’m once again caught up in the busy life of assignments and tests.

So that’s all about what I’ve lately been up to.

Stay tuned for some book reviews, maybe some artworks, and random rants about random stuff.

Later,
Srishti

Life, Lately 2.0

Okay so here’s the thing… it’s been 3 months since I posted. And I wouldn’t be here today writing this if one of my twitter friends hadn’t acknowledged my close-to-zero blog writing skills. Hey Nanu, are you reading this???  I mean seriously dude, I suck… BIG TIME. But your words were a real push. And hence I’m here. Thanks bud.

Okay so coming back to the post… uhhhmm I have no friggin idea what to write about. So I thought, why not make this post into another ‘Life, lately’ post and rant about my life, as if I don’t do that anyway. But helloooo… mah blog, mah rulezzz !

So these days I’m at home (Yayy good long Diwali vacations) chilling, relaxing, sleeping my days off like a koala… no actually, not literally, because Koala sleeps for 21-22 hours a day (there you have your fun fact of the day, you’re welcome) but seriously speaking, A LOT! Aaaand I’ve been eating a lot, like a pig, and that’s literally because I’m pretty sure I have gained like 4 to 5 kgs in the last 10 days. But then, who cares, right? YOLO!! (Are we still using that? No? I’m so sorry. Can we just forget I ever said that?)

Okay, other than that, the college life has been going really well. Just casually spending hours rolling in mud and lighting up food in our rooms in the wee hours of night and then dying hungry… stuff like that. Just kidding (not really!). But yeah, it’s all fun, thanks to people (read: AWESOME people) around me. And it’s equally exhausting because I’ve been studying my head off (NOT REALLY, but it’s the most I’ve ever done in my life). Remember my last post? Same old, same old. Oh and I did not make it to that committee (like I had any chance anyway).

I realize this post is getting pretty boring now… okay so what elseeee. I think I should stop writing because GODD I’M SO BORING ! What do you see in my posts, Nanu?
And to make up for my lack of creativity, I’ll leave you with a song I just discovered, and by that, I mean, whilst writing this post, literally. (Think I’ve found my next LSS).

Alright then,
Have a good night… good day… whatever! 😀
Later,
Srishti

Life Lately…

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So long since I last wrote. Let’s go back to April when I got my acceptance letter from that college where I screwed my interview big time. I don’t know what kind of magic worked but I frankly never thought that in three and a half month’s time, I’d be sitting here and writing this blog.

Okay, so fast forward to now. I’m here. Although I’ve been getting mixed feelings about being here, but as opposed to the most of the things I don’t like, 90% of which consists of studying everyday, there are some things which I am really enjoying. Like the food here and the campus. And my room mate and a couple of other people. Oh and did I mention? One of my seniors looks a bit like Joe Jonas from the side view? I mean, SERIOUSLY!!

Going back to studying, it’s not like I was expecting this place to be an amusement park, and it’s not like I spend my whole day sitting back in my room with books. I mean… okay I’m a bit lazy when it comes to books , but still… the pressure and the competitive ambiance here is getting to me already. And it’s just a start.

To add to my not-so-much-but-kind-of-out-of-sorts life, I decided to apply for the placement committee here, which sounds pretty impressive but right now I’m struggling to find Honeywell Technological Solutions’ annual turnover, which I’m as far from finding out as I am to collecting 10 personal contacts of corporates by tomorrow night. All this and much more to get through the second round of selection process. And by right now, I mean right at this moment in another tab. Not to mention, I recieved the mail only a few hours back and tomorrow’s sunday so… I’m not enjoying this at all.  But somehow I’m finding it very appropriate to write about my problem here rather than actually putting the effort to be done with the task. This, in addition to 3-4 reading assignments which I have to do tomorrow. It’s 3 am. And you could say my Sunday is going to be pretty boring. Ahh! Perks of being in a B school.

So that’s a little glimpse of what’s happening right now in my life. Not very fun but still interesting, in more ways than one. Also, we had a fresher’s party tonight which was possibly the most ridiculous fresher’s party in the history of fresher’s parties. But I still had a good time.

Anyway, I’m sleepy now. And I’m exhausted. And I may or may not be able to submit the task tomorrow and consequently may or may not make it to the placement committee, and even though I’m a bit homesick and  I’m not 100% loving the life here, but still… I’m so glad I’m here.

Second Interview aka THE NIGHTMARE!

Second one, more like the screwed one.

Seems like the ‘heaven’ didn’t like my humble gratitude towards it the last time, and so it dropped all the ‘accountancy’ bombs on me this time. (*looks up* “WHY?!?”). Not like I’m too bad at it. At least, my mark sheets don’t say that. But the thing is that my brain just likes to randomly shut down when I need it the most. Here’s the scene which went down yesterday:

After four hours of waiting, I was the last one left to be interviewed. I entered and there were four panelists sitting. I wished them and they asked me to have a seat. I sat down, not realizing the chair had wheels. So it slipped backwards. And in my desperate attempt to avoid losing balance I caught hold of the table which tilted a bit towards me, then dropped back with a BANG! and I almost drowned in embarrassment with an apologetic look on my face. (Self confidence status: down to 50%). Next came a few questions and I answered them (“easy, easy!” I told myself) and then the downfall started. One bad question and I lost it. My brain went into the sleep mode whilst I struggled through every single question from then on, thinking like “Okay okay I know this one. They’re all staring at me. Okay. Calm down. Think. THINK! Have you really studied anything about this? Ever? …. But … they’re still staring. It’s too late, think of an answer, say something. ANYTHING! “ (*knocks skull* “Hellooo!! Is anyone/anything thereee??”) and finally coming out with “Sorry sir, I don’t know”. (Self confidence status: down to 20%). So the kind lady on the panel, maybe judging by the looks of me, asked me  to describe my hometown which I did thinking, okay now they’re talking about something else. But NO! I was asked a few more finance related questions until my self confidence level came down to zero giving not-so-impressive, not-so-satisfying replies. 
I could almost see it in their eyes that they were thinking ‘How the hell did she manage to score so good all this time?!?’. And so the interview ended on an extremely bad note. I got up, thanked them, turned around and started walking, then turned around again, came closer, looked them in the eyes and said “I hate finance. And it’s the reason I’m making a career switch and applying for a specialization in another subject. I want you to know that and also that I’m the kind of student you wouldn’t want to lose.” And then I left them looking at me in astonishment while I walked out of the room. Like. A. Boss. …. In dreams.
In reality, I just walked out and didn’t look back again. To be honest, I was just happy and grateful to be finally out of that gloomy room. (But just you wait. Until that summer when I’ll sit and write ”a novel that would fix a lot of people”.)

So then, on my way back, my mind surprisingly woke up (Did you sleep well? Did you have a great nap, huh?) and I suddenly recalled the answers to every single one of those questions I couldn’t answer inside. Oh no, it was from THAT chapter… Damn I knew that  one!… Bloody amalgamation, I always hated that topic…. what the hell was I thinking though?…  I HATE MYSELF!!! …URGHHH!!
  Blah blah blah! All said and done, another milestone of embarrassment level achieved!
*confetti blasts*

End of story.

Good Night!

P.S. : Later this day, I went to a bookstore with my father and bought a book for myself. Not much but enough to boost my mood a hundred times. So that was basically a happy ending to a super disastrous day.  😉