Second one, more like the screwed one.
Seems like the ‘heaven’ didn’t like my humble gratitude towards it the last time, and so it dropped all the ‘accountancy’ bombs on me this time. (*looks up* “WHY?!?”). Not like I’m too bad at it. At least, my mark sheets don’t say that. But the thing is that my brain just likes to randomly shut down when I need it the most. Here’s the scene which went down yesterday:
After four hours of waiting, I was the last one left to be interviewed. I entered and there were four panelists sitting. I wished them and they asked me to have a seat. I sat down, not realizing the chair had wheels. So it slipped backwards. And in my desperate attempt to avoid losing balance I caught hold of the table which tilted a bit towards me, then dropped back with a BANG! and I almost drowned in embarrassment with an apologetic look on my face. (Self confidence status: down to 50%). Next came a few questions and I answered them (“easy, easy!” I told myself) and then the downfall started. One bad question and I lost it. My brain went into the sleep mode whilst I struggled through every single question from then on, thinking like “Okay okay I know this one. They’re all staring at me. Okay. Calm down. Think. THINK! Have you really studied anything about this? Ever? …. But … they’re still staring. It’s too late, think of an answer, say something. ANYTHING! “ (*knocks skull* “Hellooo!! Is anyone/anything thereee??”) and finally coming out with “Sorry sir, I don’t know”. (Self confidence status: down to 20%). So the kind lady on the panel, maybe judging by the looks of me, asked me to describe my hometown which I did thinking, okay now they’re talking about something else. But NO! I was asked a few more finance related questions until my self confidence level came down to zero giving not-so-impressive, not-so-satisfying replies.
I could almost see it in their eyes that they were thinking ‘How the hell did she manage to score so good all this time?!?’. And so the interview ended on an extremely bad note. I got up, thanked them, turned around and started walking, then turned around again, came closer, looked them in the eyes and said “I hate finance. And it’s the reason I’m making a career switch and applying for a specialization in another subject. I want you to know that and also that I’m the kind of student you wouldn’t want to lose.” And then I left them looking at me in astonishment while I walked out of the room. Like. A. Boss. …. In dreams.
In reality, I just walked out and didn’t look back again. To be honest, I was just happy and grateful to be finally out of that gloomy room.
(But just you wait. Until that summer when I’ll sit and write ”a novel that would fix a lot of people”.)
So then, on my way back, my mind surprisingly woke up (Did you sleep well? Did you have a great nap, huh?) and I suddenly recalled the answers to every single one of those questions I couldn’t answer inside. Oh no, it was from THAT chapter… Damn I knew that one!… Bloody amalgamation, I always hated that topic…. what the hell was I thinking though?… I HATE MYSELF!!! …URGHHH!!
Blah blah blah! All said and done, another milestone of embarrassment level achieved!
End of story.
P.S. : Later this day, I went to a bookstore with my father and bought a book for myself. Not much but enough to boost my mood a hundred times. So that was basically a happy ending to a super disastrous day. 😉